In this episode, the ladies discuss social dynamics in Sobriety. Lori and Courtney read and answer a listeners email!
Here is what the listener asked; we wanted to show you what was shared in case you are going through the same issue. No one's identity is revealed in us sharing this information.
“I realize that I was continuing to drink because it fueled my social life, was a band-aid to anxiety, and people actually would tell me they like me when I drink! I usually feel detached, to begin with, and I guess alcohol helped me feel more attached because I could engage in small talk. But I was hiding hangovers, and 4 am wake ups of nausea and shivers. So needless to say I did not like MYSELF when I drank. I’ve already had to mourn the social life that I will be saying right by too and diving back into the mechanisms which I know work for me to stay sober.
I have a question for ya’ll. I told my doctor how hard it is to not drink in my age group and demographic; she didn’t believe me at all. I’m a white suburban, college educated, mother. I feel like 99% of the women around med me drink and social gatherings usually revolve around drinking. Let's face it when you’re not drinking, and there’s nothing else to do its not fun at all. And I heard stories about game groups in my neighborhood where they can’t finish games because they get so drunk. Recently, I had to say a firm no to neighborhood friends who were day drinking a $300 bottle of Dom Perignon champagne on a Saturday afternoon. Have you ever covered the “mom” drinking scene on your podcast? I knew when people realized I wasn’t drinking again that I wouldn’t get invited to certain things and it happened this past weekend. My husband would probably tell me I’m over thinking it, but I do think there is some truth to that if I compare drinking me to sober me. People don’t want to drink alone, so why invite me if I’m going to sit there drinking diet coke and sparkling water?"
~What is going to happen to your social life after you stop drinking?!? Yes, people will not invite you to things. It will happen.
~Examining your friendships sober.
~If they are real friends they will want you to stop drinking if it is hurting you.
~Who do you surround yourself with? Top 5 people in your social circle, are they helping or hurting you?
~Friendships will change. When you close the door on one chapter in your life, you are making room for a new one.
~Why are you letting people dictate your life when it is hurting you.
~You may have to withdraw for a bit to get solid foundation until you can hang with certain people.
~Join communities like RAW to meet new people, support groups, join an art class, etc. to start socializing with people who are doing more things than just drinking.
We hope you enjoy this episode! IF you have a question, please email us and will read and respond on our podcast.
To listen to this episode, Social Dynamics in Sobriety