The Key To Change is Accountability

Jul 08, 2019

Accountability can take a goal that seems impossible; possible beyond measure.  Permitting someone else to help you change and reach a goal is the difference in staying in the same place or moving forward. 


When I committed to living life without alcohol, I did it on my own. Never in my 45 years of living on this earth did I commit to something as big as sobriety and follow through.


I was the Queen of giving up when things got too hard or weren't working overnight.


I spent years yo-yo dieting and following every diet on the planet to lose weight, and when these diets didn't work within the first week, I over it.


I would attend Weight Watchers meetings to weigh in without sticking around to share because I was way too shy to talk about food and eating and my weight. The accountability that I missed out on back then was significant. I could have embraced the burning desire I had to lose weight and talked about it openly instead of holding it inside for years.


Accountability, to me, means that I'm no longer secretive with my goals and dreams.


Being secretive is what held me back from changing my life; I wasn't able to hold myself accountable as I can today. The secretive me longed for a better body and more confidence; she was the gal who turned to Chardonnay to make that happen. Not the body part, just the confidence part. However, I will say that when I drank, especially in my twenties, I felt like I wasn't hungry as much, so I didn't gain weight.


I've come a long way; accountability works for me. 


I see it works for so many others. The reason that so many folks have turned to social media, mainly Instagram, to share their life and their "mess" is because they want to change, and they need someone to hold them accountable.


If left to our own devices, chances are we will keep living the same life year after year until the day we leave this earth. 


I joined Instagram in 2013 as To 50 & Beyond, an anonymous account that didn't have my real name so my friends wouldn't know I was going to talk about my weight and starting a Whole30. My first post on this account was the scale which said my weight and then another picture that was a bag of jelly beans.


Yikes, I was putting it out into the world, and it felt excellent!



To open up to someone else, especially the internet can take you from being stuck in your comfort and cushy zone, to completely changing your future and how you feel about yourself.


Accountability is the key that I never used to unlock my BIG dream life. I can't put it into words that describe the magnitude of opening myself up to strangers and sticking to my goal, which was to be in the best shape of my life by the time I turned 50.


I hit that goal while following a healthy diet, exercising and posting about it, and expanding myself in the sobriety community. I could not believe folks were talking about quitting drinking and getting sober.


I never thought the shame of having a problem with alcohol would be discussed so openly, but it was, and it is a beautiful thing.


To know that you are not alone in your fight against whatever it is you are fighting against is comforting, but it's also a big part of your transformation. When you feel alone, you hide what you want to change.


When you know there are others just like you; you get the empowerment to work on yourself. Who knew social media and accountability would be the biggest thing I never knew I needed. If you are reading this, chances are you feel alone, and you feel like no one will "get you," but you are wrong.


There is not one thing out there that another human has not been through; you are part of society; you are human. Human beings are imperfect and messy, and they f**k up all of the time. It's shameful until you speak your truth. It's painful until you let it go and stop hiding. It's hurtful when others don't understand; find those who know what you are going through.


It's joyful when you walk side by side with others on the same path because you are holding accountability hands together, and you find the comfort and confidence in knowing you are not alone.


Listen, you don't need to go on social media and blast your life story to change your life. Find one person to hold you to your commitment to reach a goal and be your accountability sister.


It's scary AF to put your secretive self out there even to one person, but it's terrifying to never go after your dreams. If accountability is the key you need to unlock your future, start today by turning it to the right and reaching out to someone to help you.


I'm with you; you can do anything you want in this world, turn the key today.  


Lori is the co-founder of Real Aligned Women, LLC.  To learn more about Lori, click here. 


Are you a woman who is interested in finding new friends on the same path as you?  If you feel like your current friends don't understand what you are going through, you are not alone. 

Download our free mini-training, Friendships In Recovery that teaches you it's okay to walk away and build new relationships. 




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